


but why would he?

by emstars



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Byleth is a thirsty gal, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Dimitri is bad with words, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealousy, Pining, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 20:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20377573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emstars/pseuds/emstars
Summary: Five times Byleth wonders if Dimitri could love her, and one time she knows he does.





	but why would he?

Byleth always knew they had a connection. She felt it from the first day they met. When their eyes locked, her breath hitched, her insides ached, and she knew she was in for a long, painful journey. 

~~~ one: ethereal moon

Byleth and Sylvain were on the field outside of the three house classrooms, Sylvain dancing gracefully and Byleth observing carefully. At first she was a little skeptical about choosing him to compete in the White Heron Cup, but after only one lesson she realized he had experience and confidence, two key factors to winning. Plus, he was extremely motivated since he had practically begged her to be the Blue Lion candidate. He insisted that all the ladies would swoon over him the moment they saw how good of a dancer he was. At the time, Byleth had only rolled her eyes, agreeing to enter him mostly so he would stop going on about girls. Now, though, after quite a few dance lessons, she was happy with her choice and felt fairly certain they could win. 

“Try lifting your elbows just a tad higher, and on the dip don’t break your form,” she commented, resting her cheek on her hand thoughtfully as Sylvain nodded, easily taking the critique. She had to admit that even after everything Sylvain tried to pull, he was still a very good student. She saw how hard he tried and how smart he really was, even if it was hidden behind a thick wall of I-don’t-care.

“Like this?” he asked, dipping his pretend partner. His arms sagged a little at the bottom and Byleth hummed quietly as he straightened. 

“Not quite,” she shifted, racking her brain for a better way to explain it. “Maybe if I dance with you you’ll understand better?” 

Sylvain’s face broke into a wild, charming grin. 

“Of course, Professor. Anything that you think will help.”

Before he even finished talking he was pulling her against him, his warm hand clamping over hers and his fingers squeezing her waist a bit too eagerly. She shot him a warning look and he feigned innocence as he began the routine again. When they got to the dip, Byleth forced him to pause.

“Okay, now take the dip again, but at half the speed,” she said slowly, trying hard to not give him any ideas. He nodded, suddenly looking very serious as he gently lowered Byleth’s body towards the ground. He held her there for half a second before he just as gently lifted her back up. Once they straightened, she stepped back, instructing him to do it again without her. When his form held the whole time she smiled approvingly. 

“Very good, Sylvain. You’re a natural.”

Sylvain grinned, winking slightly as he continued on with the routine. 

“Well, you know what they say. The way you move your body when dancing is the same way you move your body when having-”

“Sylvain!” she warned, crossing her arms. He bit his tongue, giving her a sideways look as his lips pulling into a small smile. She raised her eyebrows, unamused. 

“Sorry, sorry. I just can’t help it,” and he actually looked a little sheepish, his cheeks flushing for a second. But just as fast as it was there it was gone and he was back to being the confident boy she knew all too well. “I mean, not when there’s such a beautiful girl watching me.”

She snorted, about to scold him once more, when she suddenly caught sight of a blue tunic and lemon blonde hair moving across the courtyard. She couldn’t help as her stomach swooped and her arms uncrossed as heat crawled up her neck. She was suddenly painfully aware of how disheveled she probably looked, as she had barely had a moment to herself in the past week. She was so busy with teaching and dance lessons that she didn’t even have time to bathe properly. She cringed internally, running a hand through her hair before forcing her eyes away from Dimitri and back to Sylvain, who was just finishing the routine. 

She cleared her throat. 

“Nicely done. I have confidence in your ability to win,” she tried hard to keep her voice neutral as she lifted her hands, smoothing down Sylvain’s collar which had gone crooked while he was dancing. “Now we just have to figure out a way to keep your collar. . .” 

She faltered as her eyes once again caught a glimpse of blue, hovering not too far away. He had stopped in place. Ingrid was chatting lightly next to him but he didn’t seem to be listening. Instead, he was staring straight at Byleth, his eyes narrowed slightly and his face flushing light pink. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, and he flexed his jaw, his gaze skipping to Byleth’s hands, still resting on Sylvain’s shoulders. 

“Gee, Professor. I know I’m muscular but you’ve been standing there an awful long time. . .”

Byleth immediately drew back, her face burning as she tucked her hands against her sides. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, hardly able to hold her gaze on Sylvain as her mind swirled back to Dimitri. Did he look. . . jealous?

“No biggy,” Sylvain gave another charming wink and Byleth attempted a half smile back before her eyes drifted to the place where Dimitri had been standing. Now he was nowhere in sight. She deflated, hating the way her mind had suddenly been wondering what it would feel like to dance with Dimitri, to have her hand gently placed in his and his fingers clutching her waist. . . 

Sylvain shifted, placing his hands behind his head, pulling her from her thoughts and back to him. “After all, I like the way your hands feel against me-”

“Sylvain!” 

  
  


~~~ two: pegasus moon

It had been two weeks since her father had passed and each moment was harder than the last. Even though people often saw Byleth as emotionless, that was far from the case. Sure, her and Jeralt hadn’t had the most open relationship, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. After all, he had raised her. He had been good to her. He had supported her when no one else did, believed in her when no one else would. He was her father, blood or not. And she missed him, wished she could bring him back. Each day she felt one step closer to crumbling. . . 

But then Dimitri was there, picking up her broken pieces, not allowing her to fall into her dark place. Somehow, he always knew just what to say. Encouraging her to take her time to heal. Inspiring her to listen to her heart. Promising to be at her side through it all. And every time he looked at her, she felt it. The stirring deep down. The ache, the longing. But she never let it surface. 

Not until one painful night. It was around 3AM, and Byleth couldn’t sleep. After a while of tossing and turning, she decided to visit her father’s grave, hoping that would bring some sense of peace. She threw on a dark cloak, creeping through the silent Monastery as rain poured from above. Once she made it to his grave, she collapsed in front of it, pathetically clutching the flowers she had placed there earlier that day. She pushed down her hood, letting the rain mix with her salty tears as she stared blankly at his tombstone. 

“Professor?” 

The voice caused her to jump, her hand instinctively reaching for her dagger until she spotted a familiar figure. She relaxed as her eyes settled on Dimitri, only a few paces away, his hand shielding his eyes from the rain. 

“Are you alright?” 

His voice was hesitant. She bit her lip, gently setting the flowers back onto her father’s grave.

“Yes.”

She quickly swiped at her eyes before standing, willing her voice to come out even as she spoke again. 

“Dimitri, what are you doing out here? You’ll catch your death in the rain.”

He chuckled, his gaze dropping for a moment before he lifted his eyes again, looking a little sheepish. 

“As will you.”

She gave him an unamused look and he cleared his throat, smothering his smile. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I figured you would be up too, so I thought maybe we could share a pot of Chamomile tea. But then you weren’t in your room, so I. . . Well. . .”

He trailed off, and although the rain was slightly hindering Byleth’s vision, she could have sworn he blushed. She felt the corners of her mouth twitch. 

“Sure. I mean, anything to get you out of the rain. I don’t think Dedue would be very happy with me if you were to get sick,” she teased, causing Dimitri to laugh lightly. It was a sound that made her momentarily forget about her sadness, a sound that was all too rare and that she very much wished to hear again. 

“Well, I don’t think  _ anyone _ at the Monastery would be very happy if our beloved Professor was out sick for a few days because of me,” he retorted, causing Byleth’s smile to grow slightly as she shook her head. She didn’t comment on the fact that it was very difficult for her to get sick, or the fact that she hadn’t taught at all that month because of her father, and instead just pulled her hood back over her head. 

“Come on then,” she started in the direction of her room, and Dimitri tagged along, making small talk about the weather. Byleth was hardly listening though. She was too distracted, her mind full of questions. 

Why had Dimitri sought her out? Was he thinking about her as he tried to fall asleep? Was he contemplating whether or not he should come to her room for a long time?

“I hope you don’t mind the intrusion,” he glanced down at her warily. “Your company. . . Well it. . .”

It took Byleth a moment to realize he had stopped walking. When she turned to look back at him, he was looking intently at her, eyebrows furrowed together. Her stomach knotted. “Professor, I. . . I. . .”

Byleth held her breath. 

“I was just really craving some tea, and the kitchen is closed this late,” he sighed heavily, his gaze dropping. “I figured with all the tea parties you host you must have some spare tea bags and cups lying around, right?”

Byleth’s entire body deflated, a large lump forming in her throat. She suddenly felt very disappointed and that made her feel very foolish. Of course, he just wanted some tea. She too, sighed heavily, turning away from Dimitri and continuing on. 

“Right.”

~~~ three: ethereal moon(post time skip)

Five years. Five years Byleth had abandoned her students, abandoned her job, abandoned her people, abandoned Dimitri. . .

It broke her heart. Leaving the Blue Lions was unsettling, yes, but she knew that they were all more than capable of taking care of themselves. Dimitri, on the other hand, she wasn’t so confident in. He had been so fragile when she left him. So close to the edge, so torn between love for his step-sister and his desire for revenge. . . She could hardly imagine what he was doing now. As she sprinted towards the Goddess Tower, she prayed that Dimtri was there. That he was at the very least alive. 

And he was. But at the same time, he wasn’t.

She felt her whole world crumbling as he looked at her with skepticism, then disgust, and finally anger. She wanted more than anything to reach out and touch him, to brush back his long hair and kiss his scars, to cradle him in her arms until they both forgot about everything in the real world. But she didn’t. Instead, she clenched her hands into fists and hoped that words could make an impact. 

They didn’t. He brushed everything she said off, his dark expression never faltering, until he finally just shrugged right past her without even a sideways look. Panic seized her chest, and in a moment of desperation she grabbed his wrist. That stopped him in his tracks, and he turned, his expression flashing for only a second before he stared down at their hands. 

“Dimitri. . . I’m glad you’re okay,” she said softly, feeling as though she was breaking in two, as though she was losing him again before she even had the chance to get him back. 

He only stared blankly, his left eye shimmering. Byleth decided to continue, fearing this may be the last time she ever talked to him. 

“And. . . And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most,” her lips trembled and she swallowed. “B-but you promised me. You promised me all those years ago that you would be at my side, no matter what path I chose. So please, Dimitri, stay with me now. And let me repay my debts. Let me fight at your side and let me be your shoulder to lean on. Let me make up these past five years to you.”

Dimitri’s head slowly began to shake, and when he looked back up at her his expression was impossible to read.

“The Dimitri you knew five years ago is gone. The man I am now, what I’ve done in these past years-”

“I don’t care what you did in the past five years. I don’t care who you think you are now. I know you, and I know that everything you do is for a reason. You need to let go of the past, stop letting it control your future,” she paused, blinking back the sting in her eyes. “Just. . . Please, Dimitri, allow me to take some of this burden off your shoulders. Allow me to help you do the right thing and carve a new path for the future of Fódlan. . .”

Dimitri clenched his jaw, his eyes once again shifting down to his wrist still encased in Byleth’s hand. She, too, looked down, watching as his hand slowly turned, sliding so their palms were pressed together. Byleth couldn’t help but shiver as he curled his fingers around hers for a second, squeezing lightly. 

And for a moment Byleth thought he might choose her. 

But then he was yanking his hand back, the shadow covering his face once more as he scowled. 

“No. I’m different now. So follow me if you must, or don’t. Either way, I don’t care.”

And he turned and stormed down the stairs, not glancing back once. 

~~~ four: great tree moon(post time skip)

After the battle against Claude and Edelgard, Dimitri had been. . . different. He had kept his rocky exterior, claiming it was nothing, that it needed to be done, but Byleth noticed a change in his eyes. A deep regret, a sorrow. He had killed his friends, the people he once knew as a family of sorts, and it had hurt him. Byleth knew that after that battle, he truly was at an all time low. That’s why she wasn’t surprised when he pounded on her door late that night. 

“Professor,” he swayed as she opened the door, bracing himself against the wall and smirking. She tried to keep her expression neutral as she examined him, the odor of alcohol rolling off him in waves. 

“Hello, Dimitri. What can I help you with?” 

He hiccupped, his eyes scanning down her body. She crossed her arms over her chest defensively as his smirk grew into a wide grin. 

“Gods, you’re gorgeous. Has anyone ever told you that you’re gorgeous?”

This time she didn’t do such a good job of keeping her composure. Her cheeks flushed scarlet as her mouth fell open, but she was quick to recover, standing straighter.

“Would you like me to escort you back to your room?” she said coldly, hating the way her voice warbled. 

He laughed a little, running a hand through his hair. It took everything in her to keep her expression neutral, to not allow his hungry gaze to fluster her again. 

“And you’re so cute when you blush. Has anyone ever told you that, either?”

She closed her eyes briefly, trying to ignore the throbbing of her body, the fluttering of her stomach and the way her breaths were coming faster. 

_ It’s not real. He’s wasted. He’s lonely. He just needs you to fill the void.  _

_ _ When she opened her eyes again, she gave him her most emotionless stare. 

_ _ “Dimitri. . . You’re drunk,” she deadpanned, shoving the ache of desire deep down inside her. 

He cocked his head, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, smiling mischievously. 

“And you’re sexy.”

And then it all happened so fast. He was suddenly in her room, shoving her roughly against the wall and slamming the door shut. His lips crashed into hers, and as much as she wanted to shove him away, she just couldn’t. Not when she’d wanted this for so long. Not when Dimitri, her Dimitri, was ripping his shirt off and kissing her messily, moaning gently and pinning her hands above her head. 

_ He doesn’t love you, he doesn’t even care about you. He’s drunk and damaged and you’re helping numb the pain. . . _

He scooped her up in his arms, placing her not so gently on top of her desk and nudging her things onto the floor. He pulled off her shirt, pausing only for a moment before pulling her tightly back against him, kissing her neck, her chest, her stomach. . . any part of flesh he could find. His fingers were gripping her so hard she knew there would be marks there tomorrow.

_ This isn’t Dimitri, this isn’t what you wanted. Tell him to stop before you both get hurt. . . _

He had pulled down his own pants and was fumbling to unbutton hers when she finally found her voice. 

“Dimitri, I don’t think we should-”

“I want you, Byleth. I’ve wanted you for so, so long.”

And maybe it was his words or maybe it was because he finally used her real name, but either way she didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night. Not even when tears pricked her eyes as he left and she realized what she had just done. 

_ _

~~~ five: blue sea moon(post time skip)

They had successfully made it to the impregnable fortress where the Death Knight and countless others were waiting for them. Dimitri, who had been feeling very confident about their plan, began to waver. Byleth wasn’t entirely sure why. Not until he suddenly captured her hand in his, stopping her in her tracks. 

She tensed before turning back to him, her expression cautious and concerned. For the first time in a very, very long time, he looked down at her with fear in his eyes.

“Profes- Byleth? Could I have a moment of your time?”

She tried very hard to keep her expression neutral as she nodded, but inside her body was twisting and squirming and fluttering. Although she had insisted Dimitri start calling her by her real name, hearing him say it always made her lose it just a little. It sounded so good coming off of his tongue. 

He dropped her hand, straightening and clearing his throat. 

“The Death Knight is here. In the past, he seemed to have a strange sort of. . . obsession with you. So I just wanted to make sure you remember that he tends to be unpredictable and, well, very dangerous.”

He looked almost pained as he stared down at Byleth. She felt herself soften. 

“Dimitri, there’s no need to worry,” she replied gently, moving a little closer to him. 

His eyebrows drew together. 

“I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself, but I haven’t come this far just to lose you.”

Byleth opened her mouth to respond but he held up a hand, silencing her. 

“I’m serious. Don’t do anything reckless, please. I- I know I haven’t always been very good at showing it, but I. . .”

His gaze dropped, flicking to her hand as if he wanted to take it again, before his face tensed. He seemed to be having a small internal war as his eyes lifted back to hers. 

She bit her tongue, waiting. 

“It’s just that I. . .”

Her hand twitched and she longed to reach out and cup his cheek, to tell him it was okay, that whatever he needed to say, it was okay. 

Instead, she just stared up at him through her thick dark lashes, examining his tense body language and conflicted expression. 

Finally, he sighed. 

“That we need you out there, Professor.”

And for the fifth time in her life, she felt like everything she thought she knew, everything she thought she felt, was suddenly ripped from her. Dimitri would never love her. Dimitri would never think of her as more than a leader, an ally, a friend. . . At most. And that was just something she was going to have to accept. After years of longing and wondering and hoping, she knew it was finally time to let go. 

This time, she couldn’t blink back the sting in her eyes or swallow the lump in her throat. So instead, she gave Dimitri a very small, sad smile, nodding once before turning away and leaving him behind. 

~~~six: verdant rain moon(post time skip)

The battle against the Empire had gone smoothly. They had suffered only minor injuries, powering their way through the walls of enemies, Byleth and Dimitri fighting at the front lines side by side, never faltering until they had finally, finally made it to the beast that had once been Edelgard. They paused, exchanging a look for only a moment. 

Byleth tried to ignore the way his hair clung to his forehead and his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. 

“Are you sure you can do this?”

His expression flashed briefly, but he recovered before she could truly read how he was feeling. 

“That beast is no longer the girl I once knew. I’ll have no trouble cutting it down,” he snarled before charging. Byleth, although unconvinced, followed after him. Together, they attacked in synch, landing blow after blow until the beast finally fell, shriveling back to normal size, revealing Edelgard hunched over, eyes closed. 

Dimitri and Byleth paused, silence filling the air. 

Then Dimitri extended his hand. 

“El. . .”

They shifted. She looked up. He smiled. She smiled. And for a moment, it seemed like everything would be alright. 

But then she was reaching for the dagger he gave her, throwing it at the same time his relic thrust forward. 

She slumped over, lifeless, at the same time Byleth stumbled back, blinking hard. Slowly, shocked, dazed, she looked down to see the small dagger Edelgard threw wedged in the soft spot of her armor, right where her top ended and her pants began. Without thinking, she yanked it out, dropping it to the ground with a clang. 

And suddenly the world flashed around her and her legs gave out and she felt herself falling, falling, until strong arms caught her, gently lowering her to the ground and turning her on her back. 

“Byleth? Oh. . . Oh Gods,  _ Byleth _ ,” one hand was suddenly pressing on her wound, the other cradling her head as her eyelids fluttered. “Byleth? Byleth, hey, open your eyes. Please, open your eyes. Not like this, not again, no, no, no, please, open your eyes!”

She blinked harshly, forcing her eyes to stay focused as she stared up at Dimitri. Tears were streaming down his face, his body trembling as he tried desperately to stop the bleeding.

“D-Dimitri, it’s okay. It looks a lot worse. . . than it actually is. . .” 

“Oh no. . . no, no. It’s not okay. This is all my fault. Once again, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have ever-”

She weakly lifted a hand, pressing her fingers against his stuttering lips so he would stop talking. He froze. 

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered, her hand sliding from his lips to cup his cheek. She swiped at his tears with her thumb, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “It was never your fault.”

He stared at her, his eyebrows pulling together, his eyes shimmering with fresh tears, until he finally sobbed, hunching over her body shaking. 

“This isn’t how this was supposed to end. This is never what I wanted. We were. . . We were supposed to be together forever. Whenever I picture my future, you’re always there, because I. . . I love you. I’ve known it since the first day I saw you. I didn’t realize it at first, but then I remember watching you with Sylvain during the White Heron Cup and I was  _ so _ jealous. Then my feelings became stronger and stronger. I remember after you tore through the sky, your eyes ablaze, I nearly lost it. You were so strong and so brave. And then after your dad died, I remember I wanted more than anything to protect you, to let you know you weren’t alone And every night I thought about you. Every single night, I wanted to see you, but I never had a good enough excuse to. A-and then you were suddenly gone. I couldn’t save you, and you were gone, and I didn’t know what to do. I was. . . I was so horrible to you, Byleth. I know I never deserved your forgiveness but you gave it to me anyway. You believed in me when no one else did, you stood by my side even when I begged you not to. You’re my rock, my beloved, my everything. You’re the reason I’m the person that I am today. And I always hoped one day, when the war was over, we could share the rest of our lives together. I love you, Byleth. I love you so, so much. So you can’t die, you can’t leave, because I’m selfish and I need you. Please, Byleth, please, stay with me. . .” 

He broke into a fit of sobs, his hands clutching her tighter and his head bowing so low the tips of his hair brushed against her. Byleth felt her own tears slipping from her eyes as she lifted both hands, cradling his face and forcing him to look back up at her. 

“I love you too, Dimitri. I always have and I always will,” she said it so softly, she barely even heard her own voice. But she knew Dimitri heard as he stared down at her, his face a mix of a million emotions, until he finally just pulled her closer against him. She felt his tears drip onto her face as his eyes closed. The hand that had been applying pressure to her wound now lifted, as his fingers ran down her cheek, leaving a trail of blood. 

“I’m so sorry, Byleth. I am so, so sorry. . .”

As her eyes slipped closed, she had never felt happier. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll let you guys decide whether or not Byleth lives ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! I mostly just took scenes from the actual game and added more because damn Dimitri and Byleth had a lot of untapped potential throughout the game HA. That being said sorry if I got any of my facts wrong!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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